Tuesday 31 August 2010

Toy Story 3

Just came home from seeing that new Pixar thing, maybe you've heard of it. I didn't expect much, going in, as I'd heard nothing but good about it. I figured it was the typical "let's milk an old franchise!" crap that too many people fall for. So, I was pessimistic.

But then, movie opens, and they throw raw awesome in your face. The first scene is Andy playing, and it is fantastically well made. As surreal and inventive as any child's most vivid fantasies.

Then it turns out Toy Story 3 is not a movie. It's a knife. And Pixar is holding it. They plunge it into your heart, and they twist.

And they twist. And they turn, and they grind, and they WRENCH AND TEAR LAUGHING MANIACALLY AS THEY CARVE A HOLE IN YOUR GUT AND CALL IT YOUR CHILDHOOD

Oh, thank goodness it's over, this is a funny part, ha ha-GUESS AGAIN, MEATBAG! THEY TEAR OPEN YOUR HEART AND EAT IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE, AND FUCK THE EMPY VOID LEFT INSIDE YOU, POUR MELTED HOT GUILT INSIDE AND SEW THE WOUND UP WITH PAIN

...and I still somehow felt happy, walking out of the cinema. I salute you, Pixar, you've created something wonderful.

On a less review-y note, I realized something as I watched the film. Will children be able to relate to this in ten years? As children become more and more entertained by video games and films than with toys, can they understand the simple joys of imagination in the future? Probably to some degree, but I wonder at it. It would be a terrible thing to see, a child not able to play with toys.

3 comments:

  1. Sweet man i love toy story when i was a kid, i haven't seen toy story 3 though (being 20 now)but i intend to acquire a copy to view in my own time! I had the playstation game too! ;D

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  2. That is because it's not a knife.

    It's pixar's penis. They're raping you. But they make you feel like you were asking for it, going out all tarted up like that.

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  3. but you weren't tarted up at all you just wanted to fit in with the other girls. (good review)

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